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Ohhhh I've had too many customer service jobs.
Valet
When you go to get someone's car from the lot, you run. Of course. I valeted on the oceanfront, and I'd always have idiots hollering "run, Forrest!" at me from their hotel rooms. Wow, you're one clever, brave sonofabitch, yelling the most overused movie quote in history from the safety of your 7th floor private balcony. Anyway, this lady comes out of the hotel I work at, hands me her valet ticket. I find the keys, and take off towards the lot. This dumb bitch has the nerve to yell the same thing at me, while I'm retrieving HER car. "Ruuuuuuun, Forrest!!!!"
I stop dead in my tracks, and turn around and stare at her for a few seconds. Then I turn back around, and walk leisurely to the parking lot. ~5 minutes later I come back with her car, and she must have felt like the world's biggest bitch because I receive profuse thanks and a $10 tip.
I loved the dumb tourist questions too. I'm giving directions, "so you get on I264..." They interrupt, "east or west?" Well, the Atlantic Ocean is right behind us...
Restaurants
The stupidity never ends.
People letting their kids run EVERYWHERE around the restaurant was the absolute worst. I'm carrying a ~50 pound tray of glassware on my shoulder and this kid jumps off the back of his dining chair and falls on the ground right in front of me, I nearly fall over him. Mommy looks, "oh Jimmy, you're so silly," and continues chatting with her friend. BITCH I ALMOST RAN YOUR KID OVER AND DROPPED 30 WATER GLASSES.
Tables that look like someone set off an appetizer grenade. Food everywhere, sugar packets ripped up into 1,000,000 shreds and distributed across the table, every conceivable solid and fluid strewn across the floor.
If you go out to eat and leave tables like this. Fuck you.
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