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So the other week, I drove down to Austin (I moved to Texsux y'all!!) to visit my visiting GF there. Anywho, i'm driving back, and the highways become streets and then back to highways. Weird as fuck. Anywho, I'm in Early, TX and I pull into a mall parking lot because I got kinda lost. My BBerry's GPS was acting weird. Anywho, a cop had been following me for a while and decided now was a good time to get me.
Cop - Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me - You pulled me over?
Cop - Yea. You pulled in, I pulled in behind you.
Me - I didn't see the lights sir. Sorry.
Cop - I didn't use the lights.
Me - That explains why I didn't see the lights.
Cop - Yea. I didn't feel like using the lights because you already pulled over.
Me - Oh. Cool. Well, lights kinda help inform the driver about being pulled over. Was there a specific reason you pulled me over Officer?
Cop - Yea. Did you know your tail light was out?
Me - My tail light?
Cop - Yeap. Your left tail light.
Me - Really? Driverside taillight?
This entire time, he's pronouncing it LAH-T. And i'm pronouncing it as Light. Going back and forth enunciating it harder and more clearly than the previous time. License and Reg.
Comes back and asks "Is there something you want to tell me?"
Me - Light?
Cop - (chuckles) Did you know your drivers license is suspended?
Me - ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
Cop - Yeap. Well, no. But it says right (rah-t) here it is.
Me - WTF! Thats not RIGHT!
this goes on for a few minutes, and my cheeks hurt like shit from smiling. Anywho, the cops cool and writes me a ticket for fixing the tail light and issues it as a warning. He sums the entire situation with his crazy funky talk, and says "Boy, you just made my day."
Me - You know, happy endings normally cost 75 bucks.
Cop - (chuckle) here in Texas, its free when you got to prison.
He then tells me were the closest autoparts shop is and escorts me. No Homo.
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