Been a minute since I updated this. In short - car is dialed in the suspension, appearance, and reliability departments, so it's finally time to make this thread live up to the title!
After a million hours of research and sorting through conflicting bullshit I picked up this PSR 3576. It honestly may not be the ideal turbo, but it's a good, cheap starting place that should make cool sounds. There's still about another $3k worth of shit I need to buy to actually put this thing on, so it'll be a while...