I've got a similar noise, but I know for sure it's my 2way diff. Pulling the tranny back off to look for broken/backed off bolts would be the first step. Making sure it's got the correct amount of the correct tranny fluid is the second step.
If you've got a non-abs car, and you put in a non-abs driveshaft (that's important) from the correct generation, it's not the driveshaft. It can't be pushed "too far in" to the transmission, and how could it move, anyway? Its bolted to the diff, which doesn't move.
The noise you're hearing is either an incorrectly installed clutch, loose bolts rattling the pressure plate, or just a noisy 6 puck clutch. The shaking/uneven engagement in reverse/etc is just an aggressive clutch. It'll get a little better over time, but that's the price to pay for having a 6puck with an aggressive pressure plate.
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