Stop the madness
I'm kinda in a rush tonight and not really sure what you are looking for so this may not help at all but here goes bud...
Without me being there with a multimeter in my hand and the full schematics it is kinda hard to give you a definite answer; however, here goes nothing
Looking at your pin diagram you drew the "coil" is from 1 to 7
The signal the relay should pass is on pin 3
If your diagram is for the denergized state then thats how it should look when its off
When you "energize" the relay you apply power to #1 which causes pin 3 to "contact" pin #5 instead of pin #4.
NOTE DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK OF DAMAGE TO YOUR EQUIPMENT
If you want to jumper stuff around without a multimeter, here's some simple things to try:
Without turning the circuit on, jumper 3 to 5 and see if the lights go up. If it does this means the signal is present at 3.
If the lights don't go up while jumpered with the switch off, then turn on the circuit.
Relays can fault out a couple of different ways, some common ones are the mechanical contacts fail, the coils open up, or the case manages to get shorted against an internal piece resulting in a "ground".
Faulk, I think I posted the headlight diagrams for someone a few months ago.... look for my post it might help. I have to work an extremely late shift today/tomorrow so I won't be able to look at this for a day or two sorry.. let me know what you find out and if I get some quick breaks I will check this post and see if I can help. If you can get a multimeter it will make troubleshooting go a buttload faster.