well it all depends on insurace, here in CA with my insurace, when i gotten in a fender bender i had the option of just getting a check for the estimated damage and work to repair it or the check would go straight to bodyshop who did the estimate, so that they can fix it. Buts thats because i own the car and its my buisness if i want to fix the car or not, since its my property. I say that because when i was finacing the car and was in a fender bender, i had no say in to where the check would go, since the bank was the owner, and the insurace would contact them.
I hope things work out for you though, i know insurance are sometimes hard to deal with, you sometimes have to say that you will get legal advise from your family lawyer
, then they will be easier to deal with