and a few I found from our pal, Glenn Quagmire:
Quote:
Quagmire: Hey there, sweetie! How old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first!
Connie: MOM!
Quagmire: I like where this is going! Giggidy, giggidy, gi-guh-dy!
Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: (pause) Fifty bucks.
Postwoman: Package for Mr. Glenn Quagmire?
Quagmire: Oh, hold on a moment... (walks away and comes back wearing nothing) Yeah, and I've got a package for you too! (Postwoman sprays him in the eyes with pepper spray) Nice try, but I've built up an immunity! Oh!
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