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Well I think the issue is more in the brands you're ordering. The kind of guy who buys Nismo motor mounts generally has money and buys the name brand parts consistently, which is difficult because companies like Tomei, Greddy, HKS, Nismo, etc... are companies with too much pride to mass produce and have products sitting on shelves. As someone who also works in part sales I see the other side I hate selling the "quality" stuff at times just because it's hard to keep the customer happy.
As for back order notices, that's something that generally has to be done manually and system integration for live inventory is expensive and difficult. Real St. is one of the only companies of a large enough scale to have a system that can kind of accurately track inventory and it's still not perfect, they're currently designing a new site and have been for months fighting this issue.
The biggest problem is trying to match inventory that's pulled from phone, email, and walk in sales to web based sales because generally websites aren't smart enough to keep live inventory, someone has to sift through thousands of products and constantly update them.
The core issue is what we as society have come to expect, in the industry we call it the "Amazon mentality". We're so used to getting everything we want when we want it and the shipping better be 2-day free dammit. Think about the last time you were looking at products on Amazon and caught yourself wanting a product but end up choosing another just because it's Prime eligible where the other wasn't, we're spoiled by the online shopping industry's monopoly over shipping companies and web design. Maybe in 10 years or so when Amazon has 30 minute drone delivery and UPS is desperate for business some of that live inventory and shipping connections will trickle down to shops and small businesses but today isn't that day.
TLDR: Us shops, and especially the sales guys are only human and are often the middle man in a situation we're unaware of or hate being in. We don't want your products to be on backorder more than you do probably, and we feel just as frustrated as you do when you don't receive any kind of updates. Also the guys at Enjuku are really some of the most down to earth and genuine people you can ever meet.
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