damn racers.. take it to the track!!!

[aznpoopy]

2f2f hurts causes yet another racing incident...

http://www.dailyhog.com/Furious.htm

"2 Fast 2 Furious" Linked to Nursing Home Accident

by Allen Voivod

Tragedy struck the Jacaranda Gardens Nursing Home today, as two residents, inspired by the movie "2 Fast 2 Furious," lost control of their racing wheelchairs and collided with each other and a number of cafeteria service carts.

Both residents were thrown from their wheelchairs onto the waxy linoleum flooring. Abe Guterman, aged 88, suffered three cracked ribs and a bruised hip, while Frederick Brooks, aged 91, received multiple contusions and was scalded on the forearm by two poached eggs that adhered to his skin.

"I knew it was dangerous, but hell, what’s life if you don’t live it?" said resident Bernice Cloran, who waved her IV line to start the race. Ms. Cloran, who did not get out of the way of the racers quickly enough, suffered a bruised foot as Mr. Guterman rolled over and past her.

Witnesses say the two men reached speeds in excess of four miles per hour in their ill-fated race down the long corridor. The bumping and jockeying for position grew steadily more intense until Mr. Brooks drove his wheelchair’s footplate into the spokes of Mr. Guterman’s chair.

Both men careered out of control, bouncing off the walls and finally into the service carts stationed outside the cafeteria, at which point both men were ejected from their chairs. Nursing home staff rushed to their aid upon hearing the clatter.

"Hollywood shouldn’t be making movies like that," nursing home director David Markley stated. "It just puts the wrong kinds of ideas in people’s heads." When it was pointed out that Markley’s staff came up with the idea to bring residents on a field trip to see the movie, Markley replied, "Well, come on, Jello wrestling gets boring after a while. What else are we supposed to do around here?"