OT: Friday humor?? - Zilvia.net Forums | Nissan 240SX (Silvia) and Z (Fairlady) Car Forum

*DSC* · 05-31-2002, 08:42 PM

16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It leads to more honest communications.

3. It reduces complaints about low pay.

4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.

5. It encourages car pooling.

6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.

7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

8. It makes fellow employees look better.

9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.

13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.

AIRPLANE

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of New York after a hockey game. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat.
Just before takeoff, an American got on and took the aisle seat.
After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer."

"No problem," said the American, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spit in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other Arab picked up the other shoe and spit in it.

When the American returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked.
"How long must this go
on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes, and pissing in beers?"

mistert · 05-31-2002, 08:49 PM

haha, all funny ass shit

wherezmytofu · 05-31-2002, 08:49 PM

3/4 of the jokes r good...try better...thats still a C......i've seent he 2 pictures tho  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/lookaround.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':look:'>

BadMoJo · 05-31-2002, 09:30 PM

come on tofu, at least he got the day right this time.  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sigh.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='

'>

Good shit though, I wanna drink at work now.  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/whatsthat.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':whatthe:'>

BadMoJo · 05-31-2002, 09:33 PM

<------------------- w00t w00t!!!      <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'>  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'>  Check out my EVIL number of posts!!!!!!  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='

'>  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/hehe.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':hehe:'>  

6 6 6  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/crazy.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':crazy:'>

<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='

'>

wherezmytofu · 06-01-2002, 03:00 AM

post whore...if u really wanted 2 show off the 666 post count u hsould have edited ur last post...not post another making it 667!  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sigh.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='

'>

blaqsilvia · 06-01-2002, 08:44 AM

<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='

'>  I gotta become a post whore damnit! <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/notify.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':notify:'>

*transient* · 06-01-2002, 10:20 AM

Nah, ya really don't <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='

'>

05-31-2002, 08:42 PM	#1
DSC New Title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: VA Posts: 3,454 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK... 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay. 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear. 5. It encourages car pooling. 6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care. 7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 8. It makes fellow employees look better. 9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. 12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar. 13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas. 14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break. 15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up. 16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross. AIRPLANE Two Arabs boarded a flight out of New York after a hockey game. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American got on and took the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer." "No problem," said the American, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spit in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other Arab picked up the other shoe and spit in it. When the American returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes, and pissing in beers?" __________________

05-31-2002, 08:49 PM	#2
mistert Pearl White Mike Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: memphis TN Posts: 908 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	haha, all funny ass shit __________________ "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man" ~ Samuel Johnson

05-31-2002, 09:30 PM	#4
BadMoJo Nissanaholic! Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: San Luis Obispo, Ca Age: 43 Posts: 1,931 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	come on tofu, at least he got the day right this time.  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sigh.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> Good shit though, I wanna drink at work now.  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/whatsthat.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':whatthe:'> __________________ ----Gone----

05-31-2002, 09:33 PM	#5
BadMoJo Nissanaholic! Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: San Luis Obispo, Ca Age: 43 Posts: 1,931 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	<------------------- w00t w00t!!!      <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'>  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'>  Check out my EVIL number of posts!!!!!!  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''>  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/hehe.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':hehe:'>   6 6 6  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/crazy.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':crazy:'> <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> __________________ ----Gone----

06-01-2002, 03:00 AM	#6
wherezmytofu BANNED Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,873 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	post whore...if u really wanted 2 show off the 666 post count u hsould have edited ur last post...not post another making it 667!  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sigh.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''>

06-01-2002, 08:44 AM	#7
blaqsilvia Zilvia Junkie Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Middletown NJ Age: 42 Posts: 407 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''>  I gotta become a post whore damnit! <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/notify.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':notify:'> __________________ No 240 right now- looking for another one..

06-01-2002, 10:20 AM	#8
transient Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Los Angeles, California Age: 41 Posts: 2,947 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Nah, ya really don't <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> __________________ Learn everything you can, while you still have the chance.