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A friend of mine, scratch that, a far too intelligent for her own good friend of mine is currently attending grad-school with like eight other people across the country on a similar level as her, all preparing to become pyschologists. Anyway, they were recently given an assignment to take some kind of everyday type of thing and analyze the #### out of it, using excessively clinical terms while doing so. Oh, and it should be about themselves.
Okay, so I'm pretty sure that's not how the professor described it or anything, but here's what she whipped up. Personally, I think it's hysterical in its own right...
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The noncomplex behavior I am willing to change is driving in ways characteristic of individuals from the New Jersey-New York region. Such driving is operationally defined as consistently operating the vehicle at speeds between 5 and 15 miles-per-hour over the posted speed limits, maintaining a distance of less than one car length from the car ahead when said car is moving at a speed at or below the posted speed limit in an effort to encourage that car's operator to change lanes, repeatedly changing lanes so as to pass numerous cars in an attempt to maintain the desired speed as was previously defined, and pressing excessively on the gas pedal when the car directly ahead makes a lane change deemed to take excessive amounts of time so as to make the car's engine produce a loud, revving sound.
Assessment of this behavior can be made through the use of self-reports of the speed at which I maintain my vehicle, any police documentation resulting from driving at excessive speeds, and a quantifying of gestures made by other drivers in response to my driving behavior.
Conditions which maintain said behavior include minute increases in time efficiency resulting from driving at excessive speeds, the responsiveness of many drivers to such driving behavior, i.e. moving to lanes other than that in which my car is being maintained, and a general state of exhilaration resulting from moving at such speeds.
©2002 - Jaclyn Green
... as to give credit where credit is due.
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Just think; some day, she'll be Doctor Jaclyn Green, and you can go to her for help. =)
(Edited by JeffNJ at 10:25 pm on Jan. 14, 2002)
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01-14-2002, 07:11 PM
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