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russian · 08-10-2003, 07:28 PM

funny ****. i cant stand the 1st question.

The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat in this?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: " I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
a. Football.
b. Golf.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"

Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes,dear."

Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh Yeah, (sarcatic tone) boatloads!
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect answers are: Question # 3: Do I look fat? a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define pretty
e. Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a racing car, a boat and an awesome Harley"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.
WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
MAN: uhhhh.....!

SilviaDriver · 08-10-2003, 07:41 PM

HAHAHAHAHA!! thats great. good find!

oh yea..this pic says it all!

Bbandit · 08-10-2003, 07:43 PM

she: which shoes should i wear tonight, white or blue?
me: white
she: why? i like blue
me: blue looks good on you also
she: but you said white
me: ... uh...(hungry and dont care which shoe, just want to have a quick dinner over at denny's)
me: both shoes looks good on you
she: yes i know that, but i want an opinion.. if i know which shoe i should wear, i would never asked you from the beginning
me: mm.. okay i think blue looks good.. it matches your dress (i think.. what do i know? im not a designer)
she: you're not helping... forget it
me: are you mad?
she: .... im not hungry anymore
me: what?? but im hungry
she: go eat by yourself.. you can drive right?
me: ???????? :hammer:

zero.counter · 08-10-2003, 07:45 PM

Oh sh1t, I just had a conversation (argument) with my wife over the phone and three of those freakin question came up. The sad thing is, I tell her straight out. If you lie, then there is no trust in the relationship and it is useless.

russian · 08-10-2003, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bbandit
she: which shoes should i wear tonight, white or blue?
me: white
she: why? i like blue
me: blue looks good on you also
she: but you said white
me: ... uh...(hungry and dont care which shoe, just want to have a quick dinner over at denny's)
me: both shoes looks good on you
she: yes i know that, but i want an opinion.. if i know which shoe i should wear, i would never asked you from the beginning
me: mm.. okay i think blue looks good.. it matches your dress (i think.. what do i know? im not a designer)
she: you're not helping... forget it
me: are you mad?
she: .... im not hungry anymore
me: what?? but im hungry
she: go eat by yourself.. you can drive right?
me: ???????? :hammer:

LOL

heres mine:

she: what are you thinking about?
me: you baby.
she: you dont have to make stuff up, what you thinknig about?
me: im thinking about you, you and me
she: bull**** get off the bed!
me: WTF?!!!

no matter if you lie or not its all the same with some girls..

hookedup240 · 08-10-2003, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by russian
LOL

heres mine:

she: what are you thinking about?
me: you baby.
she: you dont have to make stuff up, what you thinknig about?
me: im thinking about you, you and me
she: bull**** get off the bed!
me: WTF?!!!

no matter if you lie or not its all the same with some girls..

hahah, that's some funny ****.

Bbandit · 08-10-2003, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by russian
no matter if you lie or not its all the same with some girls..

sadly.. this is true
even if you're honest.. she'll be ****ed
and if you lie, she'll be ****ed also..

08-10-2003, 07:28 PM	#1
russian Zilvia FREAK! Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Dallas TX Age: 42 Posts: 1,336 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	um deez 5 thingz funny ****. i cant stand the 1st question. The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses. Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: " I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. Football. b. Golf. c. How fat you are. d. How much prettier she is than you e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died. Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!" Question # 2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes,dear." Inappropriate responses include: a. Oh Yeah, (sarcatic tone) boatloads! b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? c. That depends on what you mean by love. d. Does it matter? e. Who, me? Question # 3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect answers are: Question # 3: Do I look fat? a. Compared to what? b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin. c. A little extra weight looks good on you. d. I've seen fatter. e. Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died. Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include: a. Yes, but you have a better personality b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age d. Define pretty e. Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died. Question # 5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a racing car, a boat and an awesome Harley"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines: WOMAN: Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry? MAN: Okay, I'd get married again. WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) MAN: (makes audible groan) WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed? MAN: Where else would we sleep? WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs? MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed. WOMAN: - - - silence - - - MAN: uhhhh.....! __________________ I must break you.

08-10-2003, 07:43 PM	#3
Bbandit Post Whore! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Texas and now Jakarta Age: 43 Posts: 2,674 Trader Rating: (0) Rides Gallery: Bbandit Feedback Score: 0 reviews	she: which shoes should i wear tonight, white or blue? me: white she: why? i like blue me: blue looks good on you also she: but you said white me: ... uh...(hungry and dont care which shoe, just want to have a quick dinner over at denny's) me: both shoes looks good on you she: yes i know that, but i want an opinion.. if i know which shoe i should wear, i would never asked you from the beginning me: mm.. okay i think blue looks good.. it matches your dress (i think.. what do i know? im not a designer) she: you're not helping... forget it me: are you mad? she: .... im not hungry anymore me: what?? but im hungry she: go eat by yourself.. you can drive right? me: ???????? :hammer: __________________ ==>>TGL GARAGE<<==.. RIP! S13 coupe KA-T @ 0.5 Bar = SOLD! A31 Cefiro + SR = Current Last edited by Bbandit; 08-10-2003 at 08:40 PM..

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08-10-2003, 07:41 PM	#2
SilviaDriver Post Whore! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: San Jose, CA Age: 40 Posts: 5,514 Trader Rating: (2) Rides Gallery: SilviaDriver Feedback Score: 2 reviews	HAHAHAHAHA!! thats great. good find! oh yea..this pic says it all!

08-10-2003, 07:45 PM	#4
zero.counter Nissanaholic! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: At work Posts: 2,003 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Oh sh1t, I just had a conversation (argument) with my wife over the phone and three of those freakin question came up. The sad thing is, I tell her straight out. If you lie, then there is no trust in the relationship and it is useless.