Bush Vows To Make It Up To Country Somehow

[gripstr]

WASHINGTON---Amid allegations that his thoughtless and insensitive decisions have damaged his relationship with the nation, President George W. Bush vowed Monday that he would, starting now, "make everything better."
"This time I'm serious," Bush said. "I am ready to make a fresh start if we can just put the past behind us. I promise." ...
During the 14-minute address Bush acknowledged that he and the country had drifted apart. He accepted some of the blame, but stressed that it was partly the American people's fault, and went on to chide them for not giving him an opportunity to explain, not standing behind him, and failing to understand his "very real" need for unchecked executive authority.
"My job is stressful," Bush said. "Trust me, things will calm down in a few months once I don't have to deal with it anymore." ... "Cut me some slack here, for Christ's sake," Bush continued. "I'm trying. I really am." ...
"You have to realize that everything I do, I do for you," Bush said. "Do you think I like denying health care to underprivileged children, or plunging the country deeper and deeper into debt? Well, I don't, and I hope someday you'll understand that. In the meantime, I'm asking the American people to try to meet me halfway on this."

The Onion

msglenth

[FaLKoN240]

Yeah April Fool's.

[hustlervibes]

The onion.... really? Don't tell me you fell for this Abdul, it's a joke. All the onion does is jokes.

[2Slow40]

I expected The Onion to only post serious news articles for April Fool's day.

[blasting_speed]

Bush did such a horrible job. I can't believe he was re elected gosh. Obvious April Fool's joke. He's already fucked us enough.