ADVICE: Black Tar Heroin

[KoukiMnster]

Hey Zilvia,

I usually never post in off topic but in light of recent events I decided to get a pool of opinions.

One of my old friends who I've known since I was 15 is now addicted to black tar heroin. He still lives at home and is at the stage where he is burning all his bridges(aka "borrowing" money and never returning it).

At this point, my friend and I(we both got burned) are debating going to his parents about his addiction. His parents are divorced, his moms lives in our area, his dad lives about a hour away.

What do you guys think? Is it even OUR place to go?

[Paparazzi]

you can always regret not doing it later when things get even worse

[Z33dori]

get him help asap dude, if you truly care for him as a friend then you will help him

[whiterps13]

I would definitely seek help for him. It is your place to go. Like mentioned above, its your duty as a friend to protect the kid and you will be very upset with yourself if you dont.

Heroin is no joke. Its one of those things that sucks the life out of somebody, they turn into a monster fueled by nothing other than the drug. The high is the best thing in thier life and nothing else even comes close. A good friend of mine lost his older brother to heroin in a constant struggle between good/bad and drugs/sobriety. Its just something that grips a person until they die, either from the drug or some type of circumstance created by obtaining the drug (robbery, theft, murder).

He needs professional help, its not something you can just stop doing. Do something before its too late, please.

[Daniel.]

Yeah, if you care about his life you'll do whatever it takes to get him right. Go get the guy some help.

[Driftingcorners]

get him some help

[TitanRb25]

Put it this way.... You could let him be and one day find out he died from an OD .. or he can't hate you for a long time,but know that you did something to save his life.

It's intervention time!

[KoukiMnster]

Ok I'm thinking one of two things-

1) Go to his house and talk to his mom directly...

2) Leave a very detailed anonymous note in his mailbox.

You guys have to understand-this is like when an old high school friend you haven't spoke to in a while hits you up. And then you find this information out, you kinda get slapped with a problem you were completely unsuspecting.

[SimpleS14]

#1

An anonymous note won't carry much clout and while both scenarios could escalate to something, at least #1 is more interpersonal and meaningful.

[sw20>>s14]

Get him arrested for it, it'll teach him a lesson/give him time to think and I have heard on numerous occasions that jail is a great form of rehab.

[turtl631]

As a physician as well as someone with relatives who are addicts of various flavors, I'd definitely recommend going to his parents if he is unwilling to get himself help. This will likely not end well regardless. Besides, if he hasn't stolen from them he will eventually and it will certainly be advantageous to realize that his motives are now tainted.

[innovation]

If Bubbles can off that heroin, your buddy can too

Heroin Bubbles -


Sober Bubbs -



And if you don't know who Bubbles is - you're missing out one of the greatest shows to ever grace television, The Wire.

[kosmo91se]

Not a single person here said don't do anything... I think the solution is pretty obvious.

I have a good friend who was dealing with a similar problem, they won't hate you once their head is clear. It might take a while but in the end they'll appreciate what you did

[slothonaleash]

The program of narcotics anonymous saved and continues to save my life.

Look up NA or AA (if it is more readily available) in your area and get your friend to a meeting.

If your friend doesn't want to stop using you're not going to be able to coerce him. He's got to figure out when he wants to stop digging the hole he has started.

[Corbic]

Honestly - fuck him. I've dealt with enough addicts in my life to know you can't help a single one of them. Fuck them.

The only way he'll get help is when he finally realizes he needs it and asks... even then, 9 times out of 10 it will be a ploy to get some money and free room and board.

[TitanRb25]

Ummmmmmmmmmmm, really guy? Op read corbic's post, take it into consideration, seeing as addicts really need so see what they are doing and want to change.

Once you do that, complete ignore and dismiss that post as complete ignorance. Nothing worse for an addict than people who don't give two shits about em. He's your good friend, there's no reason to not try to help him. Sometimes that's all it takes to make a difference.

[Supergoji]

ive been in your shoes before
i turned my back on them (yes more then one friend)
and one night all 3 of them died at a party shooting up
i regret not getting them help
i hate myself everyday for it
i lost 3 of my child hood friends to that shit
dont turn your back on your friend
money is a possession that can be replaced
but you cant replace a life

[TheWolf]

Wait till he's high and then baker act him... There are special officers for this in every city.. When they're in... They'll get him into NA

[word sux]

let his rents know and get all of his good friends together


he may hate you for this at first but in the end he will owe you his life.

[Matej]

Originally Posted by TitanRb25

Nothing worse for an addict than people who don't give two shits about em.

An addict ruins the lives of everyone around him. It seems he is the one who stopped caring about those close to him in the first place.

[BoostSlideWayz]

You truelly need to help him make a decision....

One of my best friends years ago was an intermediate Motocross racer, We used to ride he would train me and i would just ride with him and push him to get better and better... He was a clean guy with skill that could have seriously went in MX history.

He later had a GF that was into partying almost every other day, It started with the typical weed. It wasnt a good enough high.. then went to ex just about atleast once a week, and again he just wanted a stronger high... witch lead to doing wippets ( inhaling computer duster).... Then he started to get into the serious shit like heroin.. He became distant for a little over a year.

He started to get off of it, but all the different addictions he formed... Basically has him in a permanent comatose type of state a nurse friend told me about after meeting him.

Basically... after that year i see him say what up man ?! havent seen you in forever ! He looks at me with this blank stare like im crazy... and with the most serious face he just says ".... i.. im sorry man i dont remember you.." wasnt kidding with me he was serious..

After that i tried just hanging out wit him trying to refresh his memory but he couldnt remember... Its a heart breaking feeling... Someone you used to be best friends with. shared some of your best memories of your life.. gone... not there..

And his reaction time is horrible.. one time just hanging out i ask him " hey wanna go to this place tonight??? " acts like he doesnt hear me so i just stay quiet after that and listen to my music.... 10 minutes later he replies and says " yeah sure lets go "

Honestly... everytime i see him... I just feel like the shittiest friend in the world.... I just wish there was something i could have done or known about it earlier....

Take care of your friend.... he needs the help and he will thank you alot in the end.

[Farzam]

Originally Posted by Matej

An addict ruins the lives of everyone around him. It seems he is the one who stopped caring about those close to him in the first place.

You may be right, you may be wrong, but saying some condescending shit like that isn't gonna get the needle out of their arms or get your TV back out of the pawn shop. People are always so fixated on who did what first, etc....that's besides the point. What's done is done.

Go get your friend help. It isn't gonna work the first time, probably not the second either. Shit like this absorbs your life. They look at dope like it's fucking water/air. It might be easy, it might not be. Just remember to speak to him as his equal and show him support. It isn't your job to, but obviously everybody else who's tried hasn't done much good for him.

Just try to give him shit to do to replace his time, that's the hardest part. Cognitive behavior therapy is pretty helpful from what I've seen. Make him question his motives and core beliefs on life and to look at the big picture. Everything has a lesson or value in life...it's just a matter of spotting it.

[collegekid]

I'm not going to repeat what everyone already said like 30 times, but I will say this; It is going to be some nerve racking shit. It will mentally exhaust you and you have to be prepared for when shit goes through the roof. This can either go really shitty or it might be successful. You will need atleast 6 other guys there not counting his family. You never know what will happen but you have to be prepared for anything and everything. Good luck

[Corbic]

Originally Posted by Matej

An addict ruins the lives of everyone around him. It seems he is the one who stopped caring about those close to him in the first place.

Exactly. Helping them often means enabling them to lead this lifestyle. This world is full of all sorts of suffering and unfortunate people. I'd rather spend my time helping those who want and appreciate my time then enduring heart ache and frustration dealing with an addict - because I knew them "once".

[Matej]

Originally Posted by Farzam

You may be right, you may be wrong, but saying some condescending shit like that isn't gonna get the needle out of their arms or get your TV back out of the pawn shop. People are always so fixated on who did what first, etc....that's besides the point. What's done is done.

No care who did what first.
However, drug addiction is not some disease that one may be unfortunate enough to contract. It is just pure and simple stupidity.
Treat that with therapy.

Wonder how sorry we would still feel for this friend if he stabs someone else's loved one for the money in their wallet, just so he can get his next fix.
Yes, you may help him get clean and all that, but just so you know, he is not the same friend you used to know anymore, and never will be again.

[Corbic]

Originally Posted by Farzam

You may be right, you may be wrong, but saying some condescending shit like that isn't gonna get the needle out of their arms or get your TV back out of the pawn shop. People are always so fixated on who did what first, etc....that's besides the point. What's done is done.

Obviously you have never dealt with addicts.

[slothonaleash]

I'm a drug addict in recovery. I've done some terrible shit, and now I am a responsible, productive member of society. I have mended the broken relationships and situations in my life. This guy deserves to be clean. I would not count him out, but suggest YOU attend al-anon. Getting advice from a group of people on a message board will not get you the answers you need to properly assess the situation, because most "normal" people can't wrap their head around addiction. NA/AA can offer your friend the solution. Drop him off at a meeting or go to al anon for yourself if you want to help him and yourself at the same time.

I've tried therapy. I've tried medicine. I've tried getting clean because my best friend, mom, dad, brother, grandma begged me to. I was never able to put together more than two days abstinent until I found NA. I am now living a life I never would have dreamed possible.

[T chop]

So he lives at home, is addicted to heroin and this is going to be a newsflash to his mom?

[1990 sr hatch]

be a good friend and help your buddy out, everybody needs a push once in a while show him things he's missin out on like badass 240s show him there better ways to spend money. my bff was adicted to roxycodones and luckily his mother worked in a rehab facilty so he had lots of help from family. so basically show him the light he cant see right now

[h2v7]

all bad hes gonna need or want to get help himself or telling his mom will make him worse he will run away lie cheat steal be homeless and shootup big and od possibly