A woman should know her place????

[WERDdabuilder]

Originally Posted by DRavenS13

This is why you should know who you are marrying before you take the plunge.

There are plenty of subtle tests to know for sure what you're getting into.

oh no no....you never know what the outcome will be no matter what test you go through before taking the plunge. people change. sure you can live together before you get married to see how you two interact and how each other live. but man..once that ring is on the finger and that contract is signed.....shit chances.

i say fuck all that. don't need to go through all that trouble.

[WanganRunner]

Originally Posted by DRavenS13

Be clear about your expectations when getting into a relationship.

The b/f made it pretty clear to me that when he's married, he wants his wife to stay home.

I'm down with that, not because I feel it is "my place," but because the way I think, if he's willing to work on his own, and have me stay at home, then it's my equal contribution to take care of him and the house.

^^
This is about where my viewpoints lie, only I'm not necessarily of the mind that the woman HAS to stay home and the guy HAS to work.

If both parents need to work, then obviously no one's going to be doing all this homemaking shit. Get a maid, or live with the mess/chaos, whatever. It is what it is.

If one person works and the other one doesn't, regardless of which gender is dong which, then the person staying home needs to assume part of the responsibility of making the worker's life a little easier when they ARE at home. It's just common sense, they have the time and thus they need to step up a little. I really have no issues with situations where the chick may work and the guy stays home, it would just make sense in that scenario that the guy is going to cook dinner because he's home and able to do it.

Ultimately though, I'm of the mind that everyone needs to be able to take care of themselves. EVERY person needs, if required, to be able to both hold down a job as well as do domestic shit. Every person needs to know how to cook and clean for themselves, show up on time, not get fired, pay their bills, et cetera. Dependency is okay sometimes, but you need to have the CAPABILITY to be independent in order for me to respect you.


As soon as I am able (i.e. out of MBA), I'm going to have my wife stay home. This isn't because I have any serious need to relegate her to homemaking, but she wants to do it and she's always unhappy with her jobs, so why not?

Too bad I can outcook her any day of the week, lol.

[ESmorz]

Tom Lykis is a dumb douche bag.

He dwells on points that any right minded sane person could figure out on their own. Then he takes them to the extremes and finds the dumbest callers he possibly can to demonstrate his over the top views of perfectly normal thoughts...

[HyperTek]

he just gives his opinions... as does every radio personality. its up to the listener to believe it or not lol..

again im not a avid listener, i dont even know what radio station hes on, i just over hear it when someone around me has him on. but stuff is funny. I used to listen to loveline when i was in highschool that shit was great too lol

[ESmorz]

Originally Posted by HyperTek

he just gives his opinions... as does every radio personality. its up to the listener to believe it or not lol..

again im not a avid listener, i dont even know what radio station hes on, i just over hear it when someone around me has him on. but stuff is funny. I used to listen to loveline when i was in highschool that shit was great too lol

When I used to have a long drive to school I would listen to him now and again. I swear 9/10 times it was the EXACT same topic.

[LeftNutOfGowd]

Originally Posted by S13SilviaGirl

Fuck this article from the 50's!

I'm gonna make my wife put this shit in her wedding vows when i get married lol

HAHAHA even wikipedia knows whats up lol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Wife%27s_Guide

LOOK WHAT I FOUND...

* Always make getting and keeping a full-time job with regular raises, benefits, bonuses and the potential for prestigious advancement your number one priority in life. Remember always that you have a wife and children who need your financial support, and that it is your responsibility to provide for them to the best of your ability.

* Always arrive home refreshed and happy - put your bad day or your confrontation with your boss, the traffic, the crowds or the physical exhaustion you might feel aside and try to arrive home as cheery and lighthearted as you possibly can. Your wife has been struggling with the children and the housework all day, she does not need to hear about how bad your day was.

* Be prepared to help with household chores when you get home - let your wife relax or talk on the phone since she has been dealing with these problems all day. Make supper for her often, and offer to clean up afterwards so that she may rest and feel appreciated.
* Do not bore your wife with stories of the troubles you faced at work today. Remember that you are lucky to have a job and that many other men would be happy to trade places with you. Remember that it is not masculine to complain or let worries trouble you. Your job is to provide, and whatever you must go through to achieve this is part of your lot in life. A good husband knows that he is lucky to have a wife at all, and that a woman wants a strong, silent man she can depend on.

* Never expect your wife to have contributed to the smooth operation of the household. She has had a busy day and cannot be expected to provide meals or clean clothes for you. Never insult her by asking her to do such things while you're out earning money. Be mindful always that your wife may think you are being sexist if you ask her to help make a home for your family as part of your partnership.

* Be prepared to account for your whereabouts every minute of the day, including an explanation as to why you were away from the phone when she tried to call or why you were unable to chat with her for twenty minutes when she did get through to you. You must always put her interests first, and be mindful of her natural suspicion about her husband's activities. A good husband knows that men can't be trusted, and that a wife has every reason to believe you will hurt and humiliate her.

* Do not grumble or gripe about handing over your paycheque to her - she is in control of your finances and knows better than you how to spend or invest your money. Never assume that the money you earn is yours to do with as you will - you have a family to think about now, and their needs must always come before your own.

* Listen avidly to your wife's complaints. She leads a hectic life and needs to feel listened to and appreciated. Never suggest ways in which she might solve whatever problem is vexing her. You need only listen; your suggestions are likely insensitive and unfeeling anyway. And do not counter with complaints of your own. She would love to have the chance to leave the house and work, she does not need to hear about how difficult your job is.

* Be prepared to give up your weeknights or weekends to whatever projects or socializing your wife has in mind. If she has determined that cleaning out the garage or painting the upstairs bathroom would be the best use of your time, never complain that you would like to relax or pursue personal interests instead. She has every right to expect that you will make repairs to the house or help her redecorate during your time off. Do not be so selfish as to ask for personal time. You are a family man now, you do not have the luxury of personal time.

* Always be prepared to take over in caring for the children when you get home from work. Your wife has been busy all day and deserves some quiet time. Allow her to watch television or chat with her friends on the phone, go shopping or simply relax. They are your children too, and it is unfair of you to expect to come home from a twelve hour day and simply put your feet up.

* Never grumble about having to support children you didn't want to have. If you were irresponsible enough to help her get pregnant, then it is your duty to pay for that child for the next eighteen years. If you decide to have sex, you must know that pregnancy may result and be fully prepared to take responsibility for it. This, of course, does not apply to her. She doesn't have to be responsible for her actions, and can abort a child she conceived any time she wants, whether this breaks your heart or not. Accept this stoically. She has the special privilege of being able to kill her unborn child, carry it to term and give it up for adoption, or have it and raise it all by herself if she wants, but you have the responsibility of simply living with whatever choice she makes and quite often paying for it, too. Remember, you have no right to be a parent and no right not to be a parent, you are just a man. A good husband knows his place.

http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/66.htm

^^ See now that list is so wrong and sexist lol I KID I KID

[Firestorm]

that is a load of crap. for example:

Always be prepared to take over in caring for the children when you get home from work. Your wife has been busy all day and deserves some quiet time. Allow her to watch television or chat with her friends on the phone, go shopping or simply relax. They are your children too, and it is unfair of you to expect to come home from a twelve hour day and simply put your feet up.

how can that woman have a busy day if she didn't even cook dinner or did the laundry? what else would she be busy with then?

i'm don't want to sound like a chauvinist, but that text was clearly written by a woman.

by the way. if my wife would earn more money than me and we were about to have kids, i would probably be the one to stay home, do the housekeeping and raise the kids. i mean, why live with less money than your family could have just to fit in the classic scheme?

[S13SilviaGirl]

Originally Posted by Firestorm

that is a load of crap. for example:

Always be prepared to take over in caring for the children when you get home from work. Your wife has been busy all day and deserves some quiet time. Allow her to watch television or chat with her friends on the phone, go shopping or simply relax. They are your children too, and it is unfair of you to expect to come home from a twelve hour day and simply put your feet up.

how can that woman have a busy day if she didn't even cook dinner or did the laundry? what else would she be busy with then?

i'm don't want to sound like a chauvinist, but that text was clearly written by a woman.

by the way. if my wife would earn more money than me and we were about to have kids, i would probably be the one to stay home, do the housekeeping and raise the kids. i mean, why live with less money than your family could have just to fit in the classic scheme?

uhhh yeah, you have no clue about raising kids, and what a fucking pain in the ass it can be, how time consuming and not to mention energy depleting....not taking it personal, but, from experience, I used to think the same way....

[Future240]

Originally Posted by S13SilviaGirl

uhhh yeah, you have no clue about raising kids, and what a fucking pain in the ass it can be, how time consuming and not to mention energy depleting....not taking it personal, but, from experience, I used to think the same way....

I dont have kids, but I have had to look after alot of cousins, my lil bro of 11 and our niece of 10. Lisa is right, shits hard and tiring. Watching kids is comparable to a full time job.

A woman who works and does the mom thing has my respect. Its basically like having two jobs.

[DRavenS13]

Originally Posted by future240

A woman who works and does the mom thing has my respect. Its basically like having two jobs.

You have a job for every kid you have. I have 2 kids and I work, therefore I have 3 jobs. Kids need different levels of attention, depending on age, gender-- YES, gender. My daughter was easier to train in terms of what she's expected to do, and she's always known since she was able to walk and talk.

My son, on the other hand, is completely bat-shit crazy. Boys are just harder to settle down, and explain to them what's expected of them, because they have so much damn energy that they can hardly sit still to shit in the pot, much less pay attention to anything you have to say.

This being said, I would LOOOOOOVE to just stay at home and take care of the fucking house and the kids. This would mean I would be able to focus on just that.

Don't get it twisted- I'm not lazy.

[SHIFT_*grind*]

^Bitter, much?

Originally Posted by DRavenS13

Boys are just harder to settle down, and explain to them what's expected of them, because they have so much damn energy that they can hardly sit still to shit in the pot, much less pay attention to anything you have to say.

We don't have kids yet, but this is pretty much what we're anticipating. We're figuring that with boys, it would definitely be hectic, but it may ultimately be more difficult with girls.

Meaning, if you have three sons, the house would be crazy all the time and your challenge would be just getting them to sit down and shut up. Not an easy task, but a fundamentally simple one. Whereas if you have three daughters, there won't be as much chaos, but girl-related problems are more complicated (especially into the teenage years) and therefore might be more difficult overall.

This is all just a big hypothesis though

[murda-c]

Originally Posted by Firestorm

that is a load of crap. for example:

Always be prepared to take over in caring for the children when you get home from work. Your wife has been busy all day and deserves some quiet time. Allow her to watch television or chat with her friends on the phone, go shopping or simply relax. They are your children too, and it is unfair of you to expect to come home from a twelve hour day and simply put your feet up.

how can that woman have a busy day if she didn't even cook dinner or did the laundry? what else would she be busy with then?

i'm don't want to sound like a chauvinist, but that text was clearly written by a woman.

by the way. if my wife would earn more money than me and we were about to have kids, i would probably be the one to stay home, do the housekeeping and raise the kids. i mean, why live with less money than your family could have just to fit in the classic scheme?

You did not even sense a drop of sarcasm in that?

like, not at all?

[Phlip]

[SHIFT_*grind*]

Originally Posted by PHLIP

Oh fuck.

This needs to be quoted on every subsequent page of this thread, so it doesn't get missed.

[muddafakka]

People really start to show to their true colors after the wedding/honeymoon is over. They go into "I don't need to impress you anymore cuz I already got you" mode. Just something I noticed.

Everything before that is all lovey dovey and shit and next thing you know dishes are flying.

For the record, I'm not saying every couple is like that. Just some.

And PHLIP, that pic is hilarious.

[WERDdabuilder]

Originally Posted by muddafakka

People really start to show to their true colors after the wedding/honeymoon is over. They go into "I don't need to impress you anymore cuz I already got you" mode. Just something I noticed.

Everything before that is all lovey dovey and shit and next thing you know dishes are flying.

For the record, I'm not saying every couple is like that. Just some.

not just some...MOST!

the ring isnt the only thing put on. 40lbs along with it. the ring makes them feel secure so now they dont need to look good or please their man.

that whole bait and switch homie. BAIT AND SWITCH.

there is nothing in it for the man but a whole lot for the women when it comes to marriage.

[Firestorm]

holy shit, now that you mention it

i feel so dumb right now...i guess i was too tired when i read that...

but on a more serious note, lisa, i never said raising kids is an easy task. i'm just saying, guys CAN raise kids. i mean, if the wife earns more than the man, but it's still not enough money to get a nanny/maid or something, wouldn't it be more logical for the man to stay home?
of course it depends on what the wife says. if she wants to raise the kids (most women probably want to) then so be it.

[S13SilviaGirl]

Originally Posted by Firestorm

but on a more serious note, lisa, i never said raising kids is an easy task. i'm just saying, guys CAN raise kids. i mean, if the wife earns more than the man, but it's still not enough money to get a nanny/maid or something, wouldn't it be more logical for the man to stay home?
of course it depends on what the wife says. if she wants to raise the kids (most women probably want to) then so be it.

No worries, I was just speaking from personal experience. When I was in the Navy and had to work a lot, and deploy a lot, Kevin was the one at home all the time with the girls. Could we have put them in daycare on base? yep. Was it economically a smart move? nope. Even if he did get a job on base, and put the girls in the daycare, it would have broken even with the amount of money he would have earned. So he got to be a stay at home dad. On this note, he also was frustrated and easily agitated when I got home, as they drained the shit out of him. Now that I am home most of the time watching the girls, I feel the pain of what he went through. When I was in, I always saw the lovey side of them because I was coming home from work/deployment. Now I see how evil they can be! haha. It really is a full time job! I also always wondered why the house was never clean the way I had left it, now I can say, there is no keeping a house perfect when you have little kids in the house.

[Vision Garage]

haha. Okay raising kids 5 and under can be hectic! But after that its easy as pie. The kids are gone 5-8 hours out of the day. What would the mother do during this time if she is a stay at home mom? Dont give me the BS of cleaning the house as if it takes that much time. Please stay at home moms what do you do?

[IdriveaNissan]

Originally Posted by Vision Garage

Dont give me the BS of cleaning the house as if it takes that much time. Please stay at home moms what do you do?

Poolboy
UPS guy
FedEx guy
DHL guy
Delivery dude
Mailman
Milkman
Gardener
Electrician
Auto mechanic(s)
Cleaning the house
then it would be webcam time.

[Vision Garage]

haha IdriveaNISSAN hit it right on the ball!

Posi when i can!

Girls talking about how hard it is. I would love to be a stay at home dad.

[TravisSW]

Don't be a fool, sufficate your tool.
Or wrap up those tubes!

Haha, i'm brilliant! Yeah, I know, I don't have much to really say. I'm thinking of something and its' coming along, but i'm easily distracted...*stomach growls* *looks at both Lisas* ^.^ jk

I'm a nice guy, really, I am, lol.

[azndoc]

I've seen that article before somewhere.

Might have been here.

I'm pretty old school about that shit. But maybe just the way I was raised. The woman stays home and takes care of the kids and the man of the house brings home the bacon.

To this day when I go over to my grandmother's house to eat, after dinner I don't do the dishes. Not that I don't want to help her, but she doesn't want me to do it.

She just wants me to leave the dishes there on the table and she'll get it.

That's the way that she works.

She told me that back in the days she would cook a big family meal and the men would eat first and after they were done eating the women and the children would eat. Weird huh.

[mRclARK1]

Originally Posted by azndoc

I've seen that article before somewhere.

Might have been here.

I'm pretty old school about that shit. But maybe just the way I was raised. The woman stays home and takes care of the kids and the man of the house brings home the bacon.

To this day when I go over to my grandmother's house to eat, after dinner I don't do the dishes. Not that I don't want to help her, but she doesn't want me to do it.

She just wants me to leave the dishes there on the table and she'll get it.

That's the way that she works.

She told me that back in the days she would cook a big family meal and the men would eat first and after they were done eating the women and the children would eat. Weird huh.

My grandmother is the same way. She won't even consider help with a meal, or cleaning up after. She was always a stay at home mother and now that she's all alone after my grandfather passed away, I think she's barely staying sane not having anyone to look after or do housework for but herself.

There are still girls out there like that. I know a couple girls who just want to be stay at home mothers. That's all they want in life, and there's nothing wrong with that. Like Lisa pointed out, it's NOT an easy job or being lazy by any means.

If I ever have any kids I'll definitely not take the mommy for granted assuming she's at home taking care of them. lol

[azndoc]

Then again my homie is a stay at home dad for the time being and he loves it.

It seems pretty cool.

But just not the way that I was brought up to be.

Yeah I asked my grandma to teach me how to cook since her cooking is awesome.

This is what she said.

"why do you need to learn how to cook for? Your a man, you don't cook. You go out and make money."

I said okay.....

[axiomatik]

life is rough for suckers.

don't be a sucker.

[DRavenS13]

Being married is not easy.

It takes work- from BOTH sides.

When one side refuses to give, and continues to take and take and take... it's unfair to expect the other to give for both- as what happened with my ex.

While I will admit that you never really know for sure what you're getting into, you should at least take 2 factors into account:

1- You've been with the person long enough to know them inside and out.

2- Aside from anything violent, being married means taking the person that you're with, exactly for who they are, and making the bonds and promises that you won't leave, that you're with this person for life.

If you look at your S.O. and think that you can't do that, it doesn't mean that their not right for you, it just means you're not ready to be married.

[SexPanda]

I just want a good women thats glad to see me when I get home. I want it to be like this:

Me: Hey there beautiful. How was your day?
Her: Good. Yours?
Me: Good.
Her: Wanna do it?
Me: Yeah. Lets try something different.
Her: Like what?
Me: I have a donkey, 2 midgets and a gallon of maple syrup in the truck.
Her: Ok! Oh, I bought a new leather gimp mask for you
Me: Oh awesome thanks. I dont think that smell was ever coming out of the old one.
Her: I also picked up a crate of bananas.
Me: Nice. Well, let me get the camera.

EDIT: Oh yea. Adopt some Africa babies like Angolina Jolie. Thats way easier than doing it the old fashioned way.