When you gonna let me tap that?

[ericcastro]

Originally Posted by DALAZ_68

me: hey b****a, when you gonna let me tap that ass?
her: Wtf, you know im with A**** right?
me: i dont see you point...u cant answer a question with a question, try again
her: maybe 5 months ago, i was lonely
me: awww...


lol...i couldnt keep going...lol

ya snooze, ya loose

Originally Posted by at23

her:Well I get off at 8 lol
me:lol lets do this.lol

im not gonna do it unless im really drunk...hopefully.lol

Then start fucking drinking you p***y, lol

[DALAZ_68]

Originally Posted by ericcastro

ya snooze, ya loose

not really...shes kew though

[DALAZ_68]

Originally Posted by at23

im not gonna do it unless im really drunk...hopefully.lol

needin a temporary set of balls from booze is sad...

[ESmorz]

Elliot Smorz (5:11:31 PM): Hey Hey
her (5:18:24 PM): heyyy
her (5:21:00 PM): what's up
Elliot Smorz (5:22:19 PM): nothing much.
Elliot Smorz (5:22:27 PM): so when you gonna let me tap that girl?
her (5:23:04 PM): haha whaaat?
Elliot Smorz (5:24:14 PM): you heeeeeard
her (5:24:47 PM): didn't that happen already....? hahahaha
Elliot Smorz (5:25:13 PM): oh yeah
her (5:25:30 PM): way to forget!!
Elliot Smorz (5:27:03 PM): I didn't forget.
Elliot Smorz (5:27:59 PM): Last thing I knew there was an airtight airport and mutants and a lady with three boobs
her (5:28:34 PM): what are you talking about?
Elliot Smorz (5:28:38 PM): No Kuato, noooooooooooooooooooo
her (5:29:43 PM): haha um what?
Elliot Smorz (5:31:04 PM): You need to watch out for Cyrez corp
Elliot Smorz (5:31:27 PM): They're developing a rail gun
her (5:32:09 PM): k I'm confused
Elliot Smorz (5:32:35 PM): you need to get into WITSEC asap
her (5:33:27 PM): what's that?
Elliot Smorz (5:33:45 PM): talk to detective John Kimble
Elliot Smorz (5:33:58 PM): he'll explain everything
her (5:34:04 PM): hmmm
her (5:34:47 PM): so did u have fun? hahaha
Elliot Smorz (5:35:38 PM): when? I've been in the jungle with Carl Weathers, lost my whole damn platoon

[suprafreak1000]

^Haha, your convos are by far the funniest.

good shit, keep em coming

[theronin]

lol get in the CHOPPA!!!!

[soreballz]

Originally Posted by ESmorz

Elliot Smorz (5:35:38 PM): when? I've been in the jungle with Carl Weathers, lost my whole damn platoon

This one line pretty much sums up every AIM convo I've ever had with Smorz.

[s14_driver]

i txt another girl its been an hour and no response

[exitspeed]

Originally Posted by ESmorz

Elliot Smorz (5:11:31 PM): Hey Hey
her (5:18:24 PM): heyyy
her (5:21:00 PM): what's up
Elliot Smorz (5:22:19 PM): nothing much.
Elliot Smorz (5:22:27 PM): so when you gonna let me tap that girl?
her (5:23:04 PM): haha whaaat?
Elliot Smorz (5:24:14 PM): you heeeeeard
her (5:24:47 PM): didn't that happen already....? hahahaha
Elliot Smorz (5:25:13 PM): oh yeah
her (5:25:30 PM): way to forget!!
Elliot Smorz (5:27:03 PM): I didn't forget.
Elliot Smorz (5:27:59 PM): Last thing I knew there was an airtight airport and mutants and a lady with three boobs
her (5:28:34 PM): what are you talking about?
Elliot Smorz (5:28:38 PM): No Kuato, noooooooooooooooooooo
her (5:29:43 PM): haha um what?
Elliot Smorz (5:31:04 PM): You need to watch out for Cyrez corp
Elliot Smorz (5:31:27 PM): They're developing a rail gun
her (5:32:09 PM): k I'm confused
Elliot Smorz (5:32:35 PM): you need to get into WITSEC asap
her (5:33:27 PM): what's that?
Elliot Smorz (5:33:45 PM): talk to detective John Kimble
Elliot Smorz (5:33:58 PM): he'll explain everything
her (5:34:04 PM): hmmm
her (5:34:47 PM): so did u have fun? hahaha
Elliot Smorz (5:35:38 PM): when? I've been in the jungle with Carl Weathers, lost my whole damn platoon

Good job on the Arnold references.

[s14_driver]

just got a response

me: hey can i ask you a serious question
her: yes?
me: when you gonna let me tap that
her: (an hour and a half later) wow! never

another fail

[Wake]

Originally Posted by s14_driver

just got a response

me: hey can i ask you a serious question
her: yes?
me: when you gonna let me tap that
her: (an hour and a half later) wow! never

another fail

you must smell funny or something

[ESmorz]

Elliot Smorz (3:10:12 PM): yo
Her (3:10:35 PM): Yo.
Elliot Smorz (3:10:53 PM): whats crackin?
Her (3:13:17 PM): Reading, you?
Elliot Smorz (3:13:52 PM): nerd
Her (3:13:56 PM): ):
Elliot Smorz (3:14:05 PM): so when you gonna let me tap that
Elliot Smorz (3:14:11 PM): ^_^
Her (3:14:14 PM): Ohohoho.
Elliot Smorz (3:14:26 PM): you're time has finally come
Her (3:14:38 PM): Your.
Elliot Smorz (3:14:45 PM): you're
Elliot Smorz (3:14:47 PM): your
Her (3:14:51 PM): You are time has finally come.
Her (3:14:54 PM): l2grammar.
Her (3:15:03 PM): Maybe you can tap this when you grammar properly. :]
Elliot Smorz (3:15:04 PM): fucking whore
Elliot Smorz (3:16:16 PM): did you just use grammar as a verb?
Her (3:17:18 PM): Yes.
Elliot Smorz (3:19:03 PM): Well maybe when you learn that you can't use grammar as
Her (3:19:11 PM): As what.
Elliot Smorz (3:19:16 PM): a verb
Her (3:19:22 PM): Yeah, okay.
Her (3:19:33 PM): Maybe when you learn to finish your sentences.
Elliot Smorz (3:19:46 PM): god damn it woman we are going to have some violent sex
Her (3:20:10 PM): Oh yes.
Her (3:20:11 PM): Beat me.
Elliot Smorz (3:20:41 PM): lime green candle wax?
Her (3:21:48 PM): Yes.
Elliot Smorz (3:22:51 PM): the safety word is banana hammock
Elliot Smorz (3:23:22 PM): 12 'o clock time slot in my dungeon of sin
Elliot Smorz (3:23:30 PM): I'm painting my bathroom black right now
Her (3:25:03 PM): I can't wait.
Elliot Smorz (3:25:41 PM): I know. I'm writing a song about you
Her (3:25:50 PM): Does rape figure into it?
Elliot Smorz (3:26:12 PM): maybe, blah blah turn your south into an arby's sandwich
Her (3:26:21 PM): Jesus, I hate Arby's.
Elliot Smorz (3:26:52 PM): you're way too fat to rape anyways
Her (3:28:41 PM): Piss.
Elliot Smorz (3:31:57 PM): are you into that?
Elliot Smorz (3:33:44 PM): cause that'd be hot
Her (3:34:40 PM): Hahaha.
Elliot Smorz (3:35:15 PM): but only for a minute
Elliot Smorz (3:35:34 PM): and once I'm done I'll be disgusted with you
Her (3:36:07 PM): That'll do.
Elliot Smorz (3:37:35 PM): I suppose so
Elliot Smorz (3:37:50 PM): so I think you should wear dark colors, just in case I'm not very hydrated
Her (3:38:22 PM): We should be naked instead.
Elliot Smorz (3:38:38 PM): no no no no no no no no
Elliot Smorz (3:38:42 PM): clothes on
Elliot Smorz (3:38:54 PM): I don't want to see you naked
Elliot Smorz (3:39:07 PM): then we couldnt be friends anymore
Her (3:40:54 PM): True enough.
Elliot Smorz (3:42:36 PM): I'll buy you a bunny
Elliot Smorz (3:42:38 PM): and he can watch
Her (3:43:48 PM): YES
Elliot Smorz (3:43:58 PM): oh that got you excited
Her (3:44:02 PM): TAKE ME NOW
Elliot Smorz (3:44:22 PM): where doth ye want thy phallace??
Her (3:44:28 PM): Lmao.
Her (3:44:46 PM): Oh, Elliot, I can't take you seriously anymore.
Elliot Smorz (3:46:07 PM): I'll take you. Seriously.


She's not fat at all, I was saddened she didn't get more angry over that.

[mehsilvia]

Teh Fucking Winnar!

[Future240]

Esmorz might need his own thread

[Dutchmalmiss]

Originally Posted by future240

Esmorz might need his own thread

QFT hahahahaha good shit

[Gnnr]

[Fries]

Originally Posted by ESmorz

She's not fat at all, I was saddened she didn't get more angry over that.

Haha. Nice.
ESmorz, the next Bloodninja?

[spoolandslide]

alright alright here we go

me: whassup baby! (:
slut: just coming back from the beach (: you?
me: just at work. hey can i ask a ?
me: when are you gonna let me tap that?
slut: is that your ?
me: umm.... ya
(half hour goes by)
me: soooo.... tomorrow, at the beach, on a surfboard ?
(an hour or more goes by)
slut: what are you doing tonight?
me: i get off at 9 (:
slut: any plans yet?
me: theres nothing to do tonight i bet. you should come over (:
slut: ya i just kinda feel like relaxin.. maybe smoke some weed and chill or watch a movie
me: ya i kinda feel like doin that too, too bad you cant drive over cause i have the house to myself right now
slut: i get my license in a month! i thought you drove?
me: my car is broken ):
slut: watta bust... get it fixed!
me: hah you just want me to come over and teach you a sexy lesson dont you
slut: psh i don't need your lessons
me: how bout i give you a lesson in backtalking *smack* :P
slut: you cant teach a lesson to the teacher buddy
me: im gonna drill you so hard with my education that your gonna cough up that bachelors degree in a hot sweet second sweetie
me:
slut: oh really? id like to see you try
me: ya well id like to see you in some exiting underwear and on my leopard print bed
me: right now
slut: ya too bad your car is broken
me: the only reason my baby broke is because i was railing the shit out of her at midnight and wound up plowing her into a wall
slut: haha nice... thats too bad
me: its only too bad that i have the same plans for you
me: do you have medical insurance?
me: cause i might break you accidentally on purpose
(twenty minutes go by)
me: haha jk i wont break you physically.. just mentally
slut: haha im confused... your silly
me: ok well i sleep now so can you tell me when i can tap that pretty little ass of yours and ill be on my wonderful way into my sweet dream land
slut: get your car fixed and come pick me up and we can start off with something else fun and then we'll see maybe you'll get lucky
me: sounds good sweetie. goodnight
my slut: sweet dreams

[theronin]

then we will see maybe you get lucky?


psh. get one of her easier friends number.

[spoolandslide]

Originally Posted by theronin

then we will see maybe you get lucky?


psh. get one of her easier friends number.

shes proly gonna wear her luck jeans lol

and then i have no choice but to get lucky

[w0nderbr3ad]

She reels you in just to get the grass then you're going to the spank bank.

[spoolandslide]

Originally Posted by w0nderbr3ad

She reels you in just to get the grass then you're going to the spank bank.

alicia is some dumbass ugly whore so i was all

'nah bitch nah!'

but... in due time.... in due time... her ass will be mine

[theronin]

Originally Posted by w0nderbr3ad

She reels you in just to get the grass then you're going to the spank bank.

exactly. that last text from her screams cock tease. do i need to direct you to the how to pick up chicks thread?

[spoolandslide]

Originally Posted by theronin

exactly. that last text from her screams cock tease. do i need to direct you to the how to pick up chicks thread?

wow okay bro take a step back for a second, do i need to let you meet this girl so you can see how slutty she is or are you just gonna take my word for it?

im pretty sure she told me to have sweet dreams because i said that i was going to my 'sweet dream land'

don't even trip, its in the bag like along with all the money from the register

[steve shadows]

Originally Posted by spoolandslide

alright alright here we go

me: whassup baby! (:
slut: just coming back from the beach (: you?
me: just at work. hey can i ask a ?
me: when are you gonna let me tap that?
slut: is that your ?
me: umm.... ya
(half hour goes by)
me: soooo.... tomorrow, at the beach, on a surfboard ?
(an hour or more goes by)
slut: what are you doing tonight?
me: i get off at 9 (:
slut: any plans yet?
me: theres nothing to do tonight i bet. you should come over (:
slut: ya i just kinda feel like relaxin.. maybe smoke some weed and chill or watch a movie
me: ya i kinda feel like doin that too, too bad you cant drive over cause i have the house to myself right now
slut: i get my license in a month! i thought you drove?
me: my car is broken ):
slut: watta bust... get it fixed!
me: hah you just want me to come over and teach you a sexy lesson dont you
slut: psh i don't need your lessons
me: how bout i give you a lesson in backtalking *smack* :P
slut: you cant teach a lesson to the teacher buddy
me: im gonna drill you so hard with my education that your gonna cough up that bachelors degree in a hot sweet second sweetie
me:
slut: oh really? id like to see you try
me: ya well id like to see you in some exiting underwear and on my leopard print bed
me: right now
slut: ya too bad your car is broken
me: the only reason my baby broke is because i was railing the shit out of her at midnight and wound up plowing her into a wall
slut: haha nice... thats too bad
me: its only too bad that i have the same plans for you
me: do you have medical insurance?
me: cause i might break you accidentally on purpose
(twenty minutes go by)
me: haha jk i wont break you physically.. just mentally
slut: haha im confused... your silly
me: ok well i sleep now so can you tell me when i can tap that pretty little ass of yours and ill be on my wonderful way into my sweet dream land
slut: get your car fixed and come pick me up and we can start off with something else fun and then we'll see maybe you'll get lucky
me: sounds good sweetie. goodnight
my slut: sweet dreams

You call her the slut? and your the one who just keeps talking about drilling shit with your cock?

lol

She is probably just embarassed to be propositioned by someone with no car at all or a broke ass car...girls dont give a shit about 240s or driftings I learned that a long time ago...

They do like nice racing seats and fun cornering though - solid safe feeling to the car.

That's a funny convo.

this is arandom ass thread

[spoolandslide]

Originally Posted by steve shadows

You call her the slut? and your the one who just keeps talking about drilling shit with your cock?

lol

She is probably just embarassed to be propositioned by someone with no car at all or a broke ass car...girls dont give a shit about 240s or driftings I learned that a long time ago...

They do like nice racing seats and fun cornering though - solid safe feeling to the car.

That's a funny convo.

this is arandom ass thread

dude this girl is a fucking blonde 15 year old slut with a bangin body and if some of my friends knew i was talking to her they would laugh but then i would laugh at them because i don't know anyone who has hit that so imo im gonna be the first to capitalize!

DO WORK SON!

[theronin]

Originally Posted by spoolandslide

dude this girl is a fucking blonde 15 year old slut with a bangin body and if some of my friends knew i was talking to her they would laugh but then i would laugh at them because i don't know anyone who has hit that so imo im gonna be the first to capitalize!

DO WORK SON!

i stopped reading at 15 year old.

[spoolandslide]

Originally Posted by theronin

i stopped reading at 15 year old.

oh yeah thats the best part

[325irollin]

^ don't get in too much trouble LOL

[Knuckles]

WTF i just read all 16 pages starting at 2am and it is now 4am "took so long because i was laughing my ass off " this thread is full of win!

ESmorz YOU RULE! more plz!